Finally resting in this space

I am Sue (Suzanne) and am so very grateful for finding this nurturing and loving space, after rather desperately searching for online or local groups for HSPs last Spring. Within this space I have found community with people who seem to almost know before I explain, what I am about to voice. It amazes me each and every time! When I have mentioned ways I feel…how reassuring to hear the words, “that is something that many HSPs feel”. So very, very comforting to know that I am not an ‘oddity’, or ‘too sensitive’, or ‘too emotional’, or that I ‘think too much’ or cry too much, ‘do too much’ or ‘feel too much’. I have learned and felt too, that I am part of a very lovely and blessed part of society that is needed to show compassion, love, creativity and more to make a difference in this ever changing and sometimes harsh world; we are needed! I am learning to cherish my trait, and to grow within this community at HSP Connect where I am held, supported, and understood. Over the past year I have taken breaks when I have felt that I am ‘too much’ for even this nonjudgemental group, or that I am of a nationality that is embarrassed by actions in my country…but when I come back and stay these things, I am made to feel at ease.

I recently turned 70 (to my surprise!)and had no idea about HSPs until 10 years or so ago, when my then 3 yo granddaughter was identified as having the HSP trait. Always loving research, and wanting to fully understand things, I delved fully into researching this, and taking HSP questionnaires. To my surprise I realized that was also…and that at least two of my three adult children also were, as well as my mother and likely at least two of my three siblings. What a new light was shed on our past. I purchased Elaine Aron’s books and attended a lovely retreat in the Berkshire Mountains of Massachusetts, where Elaine Aron, and other known names in the HSP world spoke. How lovely to meet other HSPs, and how easy to be in their company, from the very start.

I took so much away from that retreat. We watched the movie, ‘Sensitive’ and when it was available to purchase months later, I purchased it and viewed it with some family members. How comforting to have others see and understand perhaps a little more? Since young, I have always thought of myself as ‘shy’, hated being in large groups or parties as a teen, still totally hate having to stand up in front of others, had to walk away from loud and chaotic places, and cherished quiet, calm, nature and all the wonders of it. I loved taking care of others, but rarely made time for me. I learned at this retreat that HSPs need an hour our two a couple of times a day to be alone, in quiet to recharge. At first, after so many years of always moving full speed ahead, I did not understand it…so much to be done! But how I now love that ‘permission’! I full embrace it and am finally, at this age, learning about SELF care and SELF compassion after years of caring for my three children as a working single parent after divorce, and for my patients.

In this community I have felt welcome and my love of deep conversation seems to be  shared. Seemingly others here also feel rattled by small talk and those who prattle on endlessly in monologue fashion; it feels crazy-making to me at any rate. It is so lovely to get to know people more through the Zoom community meetings, to listen to support each other in understanding ways, and to have a place to post things and share that perhaps others outside would not understand. I only wish I lived closer for meet-ups and events. Thank you for creating this lovely and loving space!